I’m starting this blog experience because I’ve joined the living again. For a long time I was merely existing. And then I was wishing I didn’t. Life was too painful; it was filled with loss and tragedy, deception and denial, anger and just plain madness. As in insanity. I grew up in a world of crazy and worked as hard as I could to escape but it caught me and pulled me down until I was drowning in its darkness. And I stayed there gasping for air for a long, long time.

This is me with my head above water. Taking deep breaths, becoming a strong, confident swimmer able to navigate the deep water and make it safely back to shore. This is my re-entry into the world of the living and perhaps my first real experience of feeling like I belong here.

It has been a long journey. But I’m happy to report that it was worth every struggle, every scream, every cry in the dark. I was worth the fight. Because from where I stand now life is very, very good. And I am worthy of this good life.

It is my hope that if you are reading this and you feel like you’re struggling to keep your head above water (as so many people are) that you will find the strength to keep kicking and screaming, keep coming up for air, keep swimming towards shore even if you think your arms cannot take one more stroke until one day you come to know and believe that you, too, are worth it.